What’s a single, Christian woman to do?

I think it happens to many of us. At some point home doesn’t quite feel like home anymore. Living with mom and dad doesn’t hold the same appeal it once did. The need to spread your wings and leave the nest starts to become real.

Growing up I always believed that a young woman shouldn’t leave her parents home until she was given in marriage.  Instead, she should stay under her fathers authority and covering until he gives her to be under the authority and covering of her husband. I still hold to the belief that a single, Christian woman should not forsake the spiritual covering of her earthly father until she marries. Staying under daddy’s physical covering is easy when you’re fairly confident you’ll be married before 22.

I even had it all planned out. It was going to be perfect! I would work jobs that were suitable for a young, unmarried woman that would provide me with practice in the role I felt called in, money enough for the few bills I had, gas in my car, with some spending cash leftover. Before long my Prince Charming would find me. We’d fall in love, get married, and raise beautiful, wonderful children.

So, I chose to not go to college, to the disappointment of several extended family members, and even some friends. “Who needs a college degree to change a diaper?”  was always my answer to anyone who asked why. It would have simply been time and money better spent doing things more suited to preparing one for life as a housewife and, Lord-willing, a mother. For as long as I can remember, that’s all I ever wanted to be.

Fast forward about 8 years.

I’m 24, still very single, and still living with my parents and numerous younger siblings. And restless.

What’s a single, Christian woman to do?

I don’t always know the answer to that.  But what I do know is home doesn’t feel like it used to. Home is supposed to be the place you go to de-stress, relax, and recharge. But when home is always a hustle and bustle of people in and out, younger siblings who seem to be at each others throats all the time, and mom always having to run interference, a peaceful and quiet space is the last thing home offers.

Every morning I wake up to two or three of the littles in some sort of scuffle, or one of the older ones loudly trying to convince Mom that it is, in fact, their turn on the computer, or one of the even older ones being disrespectful and argumentative. “I HAVE to get out of the house today, Mom!”

If I knew I’d be getting married in the next year, whether or not to leave the nest would be a much simpler question to answer. But I can’t know that. For all I know I may be in my 30’s before I get to say “I do”. Does that mean I have to stay here for the next decade? My, I hope not! Just the thought stresses me out.

So will I do the thing? Will I take the leap and graduate to full adult?

At this point, only the Lord knows.

Learning how to place my needs and desires at the feet of Jesus is not an easy thing, but it is a necessary one.  I will soon start knocking on doors, watching for which ones open and which ones don’t. I can’t really move house without work, so that needs to come first. Who knows, maybe what work does come will be the answer to the question burning steadily in my heart.

To move, or not to move?

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭‬‬

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭


One thought on “What’s a single, Christian woman to do?

  1. While I grew up with a very different worldview, making my way into adulthood was just as challenging. Just as scary. On the far side of 40, I can tell you that life and answers to your question are found in the verses you posted and those like them. May His words be clear and His will apparent. Love you!!


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